Ahh, pre-season. Music to any starved hockey fan’s ears. Well, the Devils provided some relief by releasing their 2008-2009 Pre-Season Schedule which looks a little something like this…

…four games at The Rock is tantalizing, however I’m a little disappointed that there aren’t any games scheduled for Bridgeport, CT or at Sovereign Bank Arena.

The real fun gets under way October 10th from Prudential Center with the New York Islanders coming to town.

EDIT: My apologies for the absolutely horrid quality of the image.  Gotta love Photobucket.

Clearly, I need not remind you that updates around here have been few and far between this off-season. So given the fact that I am suffering from a writer’s block that could easily be mistaken for the after-effects of a lobotomy, you could imagine how I reacted when I read this.

It was too good to be true… just the thing I needed to get myself going!

But where oh where do I begin?? Maybe I should compliment the author on his prodigious use of the English language and befitting grammar. Perhaps I could chalk his argument up to the rose-tinted glasses he so blatantly dons. Tempting? Yes. However, doing so is far too pellucid. That being the case, allow me to generalize my rebuttal: Michael M. Ramos, you are a cretin.

I should have halted my eyes when I realized that the opening argument against New Jersey was the ol’ “Mickey Mouse” comment. (Although I can’t blame the poor chap, it was either that or the infamous attendance crack…). Granted that 1983-84 season was dismal… but since tallying 7 Division Titles, 4 Conference Championships, 3 Stanley Cups, and a four-year winning streak over the New York Rangers, I think it’s time to put that comment to bed, eh? If those credentials make the Devils a “Mickey Mouse” franchise, then the New York Rangers should be branded as the NHL equivalent of John Holmes with Erectile Dysfunction — nothing more than a marquee name that can’t live up to the glitz and glamor.

As if citing a 25-year-old Wayne Gretzky faux-pas wasn’t bad enough, now we have to deal with the Barry Melrose factor. First of all… the words “Barry” and “Melrose” are meant to be used solely in conjunction with “pompous ass” at all times. Yes, Mr. Melrose did make a comment to the effect of “Don’t carry your wallet with you when visiting Newark“. But how convenient of you, Michael, to conveniently forget to mention the part about Barry admitting, after the fact, that he had never even been to Prudential Center and thusly accepted a tour of the city from Mayor Corey Booker that he thoroughly enjoyed. I guess it’s fitting you find his words worthwhile.

On a somewhat related note, the “closing” of Prudential Center this summer that you refer to was merely due to technicalities because of documents not being turned in on time, not for “endangering the lives of all those who attend.”

Wow…all this, and we haven’t even hit the ice yet!

Now, I cannot sit here and say to you with a straight face that I am not disappointed by watching the likes of Scott Niedermayer, Brian Rafalski, and Scott Gomez leave the team after such memorable moments. What I can say to you, is that they (with the exception of Niedermayer) left for a big paycheck elsewhere. I would rather have a group of guys that are willing to compete fiercely every shift for a shot at glory than have a roster full of Scott Gomez’s that feel they deserve a $10 million paycheck for 13 goals. While I admit that Lou Lamoriello hasn’t exactly struck gold in the FA market since the lockout, and I won’t sit here and feed you some bullsh!t about me liking Vlad Malakhov, I will point out how you graciously opted to ignore the addition of Brian Rolston not even a month ago. Not a wise move. Not a wise move at all.

Others like Grant Marshall, Brad Lukowich, and Richard Matvichuk were victims of the new Salary-Cap era, not roster eviscerations. Speaking of the Salary Cap, I’d be a little worried if I were you, Mr. Ramos, as it seems that the Rangers have over $145 million combined tied up in 5 players until the 2013-2014 season. Not to mention The Rangers will be paying Bobby Holik even more than we are this season, and he’ll be playing for US! What were you saying about ludicrous signings? 2002 wasn’t that long ago.

It’s obvious that down in Lowell things haven’t been all roses, but saying that the team is filled with “old AHL players without any chance to make it to the NHL” is a little much… I mean, you did just sign Aaron Voros didn’t you?? Delving further into the minor leagues, I’d like to point out that the Trenton Devils of the ECHL will not be kicked out of their building… it is nothing more than a rumor. And a weak one at that.

Allow me to end this with some blogger-to-blogger advice… An article meant to ridicule a rival that is devoid of facts and supporting arguments is about as effective as a mesh condom. The next time you are going to write a whole bunch of smack, it might be a good idea to at least do your homework.

Start up your countdown calendars, folks.  We’re exactly 85 days away from the Devils home opener 2008-09.

It’s been confirmed that the Devils will open play next season with a division matchup against the New York Islanders on Friday, October 10th, 2008.  I guess they took pity on us for giving us a red-hot Ottawa team to open the Rock last year, so they went the complete opposite this year.  I’ll take it!

The full schedule doesn’t get released until tomorrow, but other little tidbits are coming out as we speak.  Following the Devils home opener, the boys will travel to Pittsburgh to partake in their opening night festivities the following evening, October 11th.  The Red N’ Black will also be the road team for Dallas’ annual New Year’s Eve matchup on December 31st.

Remember, the schedule changes go into effect this year - only six games each against division opponents (down from eight); the same 40 games against non-division conference opponents, and 18 against the other conference - one either home or away against each team; three of those teams will be played both home and away.  The Devils three home-and-away Western Conference opponents will be Chicago, Los Angeles, and Dallas.

I’ll be back tomorrow with the full schedule.  And maybe even charts!  Or, y’know, some sort of lame graphic.  We’ll see.

Yes, the rumors are true. Scott Clemmensen will once again don the Red & Black! Of course, it’ll be the baby Red & Black, but nonetheless Scott Motherfriggin Clemmensen is back where he belongs! 2ManAdvantage once again is armed with all it needs!

Patricia, remember to call your pharmacist and cancel your Ambien CR Refill.

Welcome back, Mr. Holik!! (…You too, Brian!)

NEW JERSEY SIGNS BOBBY HOLIK, 1 year, $2.5 million.

2MA COLLECTIVELY SAYS: Welcome back Bobby!

NEW JERSEY SIGNS BRIAN ROLSTON, 4 years, $20 million.

STEVE SAYS: I couldn’t be happier with this signing. Rolston fills alot of our needs all at once. We get a top-six forward who can play center AND QB our power play. He’s been here before and has played in a similar system with the Wild for the last few years. Attaboy, Lou.

JOSH SAYS: Exactly what Steve says.

JOE SAYS: $^&! YEAH!!!!!

PATRICIA SAYS: Well, actually, Pat says nothing, as she’s off doing cartwheels somewhere. She’ll be back with actual words on the deal later.

———————–

Vancouver signs Darcy Hordichuk, two years, financial terms undisclosed.

Philadelphia signs Nate Raduns, one year, financial terms undisclosed.
Philadelphia signs Glen Metropolit, two years, financial terms undisclosed.

Rangers sign Patrick Rissmiller, terms undisclosed.

Philadelphia sign Ossi Vaananen, 1 year, $1 million.

Columbus signs Mike Commodore, 5 years, $18.75 million.

St. Louis matches Vancouver’s offer sheet on David Backes, 3 years, $7.5 million.

Chicago signs Brian Campbell, 8 years, $7.1 million per year.

Buffalo signs Patrick Lalime, 2 years, $1 million per year.

Philadelphia trades Denis Gauthier and a 2010 second round pick to Los Angeles for Pat Hersley and Ned Lukacevic.

Ottawa signs Alex Auld, two years, $1 million.

Tampa Bay signs Olaf Kolzig, one year, $1.5 million.

Colorado signs Darcy Tucker, 2 years, $4.5 million.

Vancouver signs RFA David Backes to an offer sheet, 3 years, $7.5 million. Compensation if St. Louis does not match is a second round draft pick.
Vancouver re-signs Kyle Wellwood, one year, $997,500.

Florida signs Corey Stillman, 3 years, $10.6 million.

Chicago signs Cristobel Huet, four years, $5.625 million per year.

NY Rangers sign Aaron Voros, terms undisclosed.

Pittsburgh signs Eric Godard, terms undisclosed.

Tampa Bay signs Adam Hall, 3 years, $1.8 million.

Toronto signs Jeff Finger, 4 years, $3.5 million per year.
Totonto signs Curtis Joseph, one year, $700,000

Phoenix signs Todd Fedoruk, 3 years, financial terms undisclosed.

Detroit signs Ty Conklin, one year, $750,000.

Montreal re-signs Andrei Kostitsyn, 3 years, $3.25 million per year.

Phoenix signs Kurt Sauer, four years, $1.75 million per year.

Colorado signs Andrew Raycroft, one year, $800,000.

Washington signs Jose Theodore, 2 years, financial terms undisclosed.

Minnesota signs Andrew Brunette, terms undisclosed.

Nashville trades Marek Zidlicky to Minnesota for Ryan Jones and a 2nd round draft pick.

Chicago trades RFA Rene Bourque to Calgary for a conditional 2nd round draft pick.

Boston signs Blake Wheeler to an entry-level contract.

Tampa Bay signs Radim Vrbata, 3 years, $3 million per year.

Anahiem re-signs Corey Perry, 5 years, $5.325 million per year.

Edmonton trades Raffi Torres to Columbus for Gilbert Brule.
Edmonton trades Joni Pitkanen to Carolina for Eric Cole.

Pittsburgh re-signs Pascal Dupuis, 3 years, $1.4 million per year.
Pittsburgh re-signs Mark Eaton, 2 years, $1 million per year.

Detroit re-signs Brad Stuart, 4 years, $3.75 million per year.

New Jersey re-signs Bryce Salvador, 4 years, $2.9 million per year.
New Jersey re-signs Jay Pandolfo, 3 years, $2.5 million per year.
New Jersey re-signs David Clarkson, 2 years, $837,500 per year.
New Jersey re-signs Barry Tallackson, terms undisclosed.

4 years, about $2.9 per season, according to TSN.

The poetic Mark Everson from the Post has quotes from Brian Campbell’s agent confirming that Lou has been on the phone discussing signing him

There are also plenty of rumors swirling involving the Devils interest in Brian Rolston, Marian Hossa, Radim Vrbata, Darcy Tucker and others, but none as concretely confirmed as Everson’s tidbit on Campbell.

Keep it hear for updates all day/week and for the triumphant return of Patricia Greuter! Woo

Despite my recent disappearance, I am still kickin’ it.

I shall return tomorrow with Free Agency madness, and all that fun stuff.

-Patricia

Uh yeah, so I just wrote this massively long post previewing free agency and WordPress ate it when I went to save it and publish it to the site. Seriously, if you could have seen the look on my face ten minutes ago, you would’ve cried. I imagine it would have looked like ten sad-eyed puppies looking down at a dropped ice cream cone.

So at the moment my anger at blogging templates is slightly outweighing my excitement for free agency.

At any rate I present to you my angrily abbreviated free agency preview. As Devils beat writer extraordinaire Tom Gulitti points out, we’ve got some cash to throw around. More than $18 mil to be less than exact. That’s a lot o’ benjamins, so let’s hope we can outdo last years lesson in mediocrity.

Here are my picks for the ‘08 Fabulous Free Agency Frenzy (trademark pending):

Who Stays: Jay Pandolfo, Bryce Salvador

Pando was off to a great start before his injury last year, he’s the consummate Devil and he deserves a new contract. I’d be seriously surprised and upset if we let him go. I think Bryce, despite his injuries last year, could be a solid lockdown 3 or 4 d-man.
Get the Eff Outta Town: Aaron Asham, Karel Rachuneck and Sergei Brylin

Karel and Aaron who? These guys just sucked last year, end of story. Unlike Pando, Brylin just looked like he was out of gas last year. He’s been great over the years, but I’d like to see the Devils part ways with him. Sorry Sarge. Despite my feelings, he’ll probably be back courtesy of a player option for next year.

Who to Pitch for (Realistically): Brian Rolston, Brendan Morrison or Cory Stillman up front. John Michael Liles or Mark Streit in back. Georges Laraque as a back line bruiser.

We NEED a top six center and a bigtime offensive defenseman desperately, there’s no two ways around it. I like Rolston and Morrison to fill our hole at center because they already know our system and are proven vets that could fill the gap while our youth develops. I’ve really enjoyed the reemergence of Stillman over the last few years as well, and could see him easily in the same role.

There are some big names out there on D, but Streit and Liles are young and brimming with talent. I love Paul Martin, but he just hasn’t proven he can be the powerplay QB we need. If we took one of these guys and had Martin as as a solid No. 2, I think we’d be set for a few years.

uhh…Laraque is a f***ing beast. So… yeah.

I also wouldn’t mind seeing Brooks Orpik or Ryan Malone in Red ‘n Black.

Who to Pitch for (Prob not Going to Happen): Marian Hossa, Pavol Demitra, Wade Redden, Brian Campbell.

These guys would make any team better. I’m not expecting any of them to come aboard, but I wouldn’t be unhappy if they did.

Marketing Maddness Pick: Miro Satan

I’d have my Satan Devils jersey faster than you could say ‘underachieving winger.

Left Field Crazy Trade Proposal: Patrick Marleau for a package including Brian Gionta, so long as we bring in another top six winger via free agency.

If Gio stays I’m fine with it, but if something like this went down I’d get to sleep at night.

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Alright, that’s it boys and girls. The other crazies at 2ma are likely to put their two cents in before long and we of course want to know what you guys have to say in the comments section. Cross your fingers!

Well it’s been a little bit, but this past weekend’s NHL Entry Draft was enough to break me out of my post season slumber. Generally if the Devils lose early in the playoffs I lick my wounds by paying attention to my other local sports love, the New York Mets. But since they seem intent on displaying the athletic prowess and the front office tact of an incontinent sloth, hockey seems like a safe bet this summer.

All kidding aside (well the Mets are still garbage) I love the hockey off season and after a brief break to catch my breath I’m ready to do my part to reinvigorate the 2ma engine.

That said, there was a draft this weekend! The weekend’s festivities in Ottawa saw our bald-headed beauty Louie Lams take 9 players through the 7 round draft, which was said to be one of the best talent wise in several years.

Lams shocked the capacity crowd in Ottawa when he announced that the Devils would select non other than DC Comics’ the Flash with their first round selection, a dimunitive Swedish born winger who by day goes by Mattias Tedenby. While this guy is on the smaller side (5′10” and 176 pounds), all reports suggest that the guy is basically the fastest skater alive. Frequently ranked among the top Scandinavian players in the draft this year, a lot of people seem to think this kid could grow into a great forward, but one we likely won’t see stateside for a few years while he develops back home. Sadness.

While it pained me to see us take a winger in the first round of a draft absolutely jam-packed with solid D-men, I’m gonna trust Lou and David Conte on this one. They clearly had their eye on this kid, as evidenced by the fact that they had his name printed on his jersey already despite trading their pick down twice.

While we missed out on the defense party in the first round, we did come fashionably late, taking St. Michael’s Buzzer d-man Brandon Burlon with one of our two second round picks. The report from NHL central scouting on Burlon is that he’s a fairly solid playmaking defenseman who needs some grooming but could grow into his own. Let’s hope so, because I don’t know about you guys but I’m not exactly counting on Matt Corrente or Andy Greene to turn into the next Dion Phaneuf.

The Devils also chose fiesty center Patrice Cormier in the second round. I like this pick, because by all reports he’s a hard-nosed player who likes to drive to the net and agitate opponents, a la Mr. David Clarkson. We can always use a few guys like this, especially considering the amount of Brian Gionta-mold wingers we seem to be stocking in our farm system.

Red N Black chose another Center with their third round pick - Windsor Spitfire’s Adam Henrique. Don’t know much about this guy save for the fact that he was among the OHL’s top center prospects in this year’s class, so I’ll leave it at that. As for the rest, lets just hope there’s some diamonds in the rough.

That’s gonna be it for your draft recap. We ain’t gonna see these guys for a while I’m guessing, as is the Devils style, but it seems like 2-3 years down the road we may have some solid new talent. As for the coming season, I’m sure as hell hoping we do a bit better in free-agency than Karel Rachuneck. Keep it tuned to 2MA who will have all of your free-agency preview action, followed by the the inevitable let-down post sometime a few days into July.